Murder Mystery as a Lifestyle

Glass Onion, Clue and being trapped in a home with other glam people

I saw Glass Onion last night at the Nighthawk in Park Slope. I haven’t been back to Nighthawk since the pandemic started, but I usually found myself enjoying it more when there isn’t a crowd. There’s something odd about the place I can never put my finger on. Maybe it’s because in 2009 I saw a movie there when it was still the Pavillion and a week later there was a bedbug scare or because I once saw a guy getting a handjob watching The Ring 2 there in 2005, but more likely, it’s because the space is so tight. It was built for movies and not a place for people to hang out. You walk in, then there are those stairs you have to go up that get cramped super quickly. It’s sort of dark and has this really creepy, claustrophobia-inducing feel when more than a few people are walking up or down at the same time. There’s also the bar, named after Steve Buscemi’s great 1996 film Trees Lounge. I think I like the bar more after a move rather than before. Last night they were playing “Beer” by Reel Big Fish before the film and it wasn’t exactly the vibe I was going for before Rian Johnson’s latest Knives Out mystery…but after, that’s fine. Skank it up, I say! Just do it after you spend time with a closed circle of suspects.

Still, the crowd gathered to watch Glass Onion in its limited release before it goes on Netflix was in good spirits. Why Netflix put it in limited release I can’t tell you. It seems they lost a good deal of money not going wide with it. But what do I know? All I can tell you is the Brooklyn crowd ate the film up. Lots of laughs and everybody walking out seemed really hyped about the sequel to the 2019 surprise hit. The writing was solid. There were more comedic bits in this one from the first, but they were timed perfectly and never too overdone. They really helped the story along, lightening up the whodunit tropes you sometimes can’t really avoid. The costuming was stellar, Daniel Craig looked incredible and did a lot for dudes and neckwear, I’d say. That’s a topic I care a lot about. The performances were also fantastic. Craig’s accent cracks me up. Honestly feels like he’s trying out for Oliver Stone’s JFK, and I say that in the best way possible. I love that he found a post-Bond role so quickly. Kate Hudson is doing a great job filling her mother’s shoes and being the new Goldie Hawn we all need. She plays a vapid, still incredibly beautiful, but past her “prime” as a model type to perfection. And Janelle Monáe had better be up for a damn award or several. She’s a ridiculous talent.

Here’s what I’m hoping since I think this movie is going to be a big success. I mean, I don’t know what Netflix thinks is a big success, since the streaming platform cares more about subscribers than paying movie theater customers. But for me, personally, a success would be Rian Johnson leading us into a new golden age of movies featuring a glamorous ensemble cast all stuck in a beautiful location and trying to figure out who the killer is. That’s maybe my favorite kind of film and it all started with a movie that’s not a movie, but that I watched as a movie (confused?), the 1985 Parker Brothers VHS game version of the famous board game that came out the same year as the live-action film also based off the game that I consider one of my all-time favorite movies.

I don’t know what it was that first got me to borrow this from the library when I was 8 or 9, but if I had to guess, I’d say the Clue VHS game and Spaceballs were the two tapes I rewatched the most between the ages of 7 and 10. Either Johnson or somebody at Nitehawk felt the same way because parts of the VHS game movie showed before Glass Onion, so I’m not the only one that sees the game alongside the live-action Jonathan Lynn film other classic closed circle of suspects movies. If you want to know the story behind the VHS game, there’s a little documentary on YouTube on it.

As far as other films in the canon, there are plenty of takes on classic Agatha Christie stories, but I’m partial to 1945 version of And Then There Were None and the 1974 Sidney Lumet version of Murder on the Orient Express. There are plenty of movies that aren’t connected to Christie in there. The 1970 Italian/British The Weekend Murders is a wild ride, and Gosford Park is a masterpiece. And if you can get past Peter Sellers in yellowface, then Murder by Death is a campy, Neil Simon-penned classic. But if you don’t want to see Sellers playing an incredibly awkward riff off Charlie Chan, then, well, I get that.

And I’m going to go out on a limb here and also say Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston in 2019’s Murder Mystery belongs in this conversation because this is my newsletter and I can say whatever I want.